Relationship Counseling

October 8, 2021

Relationship counseling assists couples in joint sessions as well as individually in order to gain a better understanding of each other.  We provide a safe environment to explore how best to relate to each other in a mutually loving and respectful manner.  There are numerous benefits that come from relationship counseling.  It enables individuals and their partners to discuss ways to improve the quality of their relationship or fine-tune various skills such as communication.  It helps couples of all types to explore, recognize and manage conflict.  Finding a good counselor includes one that is accessible and suited to meet your needs.

You can learn to build, rebuild, and strengthen your relationship.  One of the primary goals is exploring ways to get one’s needs met and to meet the needs of your partner.  It helps to explore ways to fall in love and stay in love.  Part of falling in love is learning how to deposit in each other’s love bank.  This is a mutual process and not usually a quick fix.  The important factor is getting couples to fully understand how important the feeling of love and their partner’s feelings of love is to the survival of the relationship.

The primary goal of relationship counseling is to trigger the feeling of love that the couple once shared.  According to the couple’s dialogue, effective communication is essential and a part of a good relationship.  Dr. Willard Harley, in his book “His Needs, Her Needs” speaks about love in relationships.    To help clients understand the predictability of love he invented the concept of “the Love Bank”.  He used it to explain how their love was created, and what they did to destroy it.  He goes on to explain that there is a love bank in all of us, and we all have an account.  It keeps an emotional record of how they treat us.  If a person makes us feel good, love units are deposited into that person’s account.  The number of love units is withdrawn depends on how bad we feel.  Only when your intent inspires acts of care that cause your partner to be happy, can it save your relationship.

In his book, “His Needs, Her Needs,” Dr. Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women while showing partners how to satisfy those needs with one another.  This is a mutual venture.  Dr. Harley provides guidance for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problem that often leads to affairs.   Initially, he counseled couples where many separated.  Then he discovered ways to help couples get their needs met with more success.