Real Men Don't Go To Therapy
July 16, 2016
Many men have been able to achieve their goals faster and with more satisfaction with the help of a therapist. Common reasons that men come to therapy include: navigating emotions, work issues, anger, commitment, relationships, “Nice Guy Syndrome,” mother issues, sexual compulsions and behaviors, or because they new fathers.
Navigating Emotions: Some men have difficult expressing their feelings and concerns while others are so aggressive that others fear them. Counseling can help you relate to others in a more successful manner. Our therapists can help you sort out your feelings and give you skills to express your emotions – all in a confidential environment.
Work Issues: The identity of most men is tightly connected to their work. Issues related to work may include dissatisfaction with your job, the progression and timing of your career, or unemployment. Career counseling is a significant way to help you make positive career choices and reach your goals.
Anger: Anger is often a challenge for many men. This is partly due to mixed messages that men receive as young children about being “tough” and “masculine.” Anger can often be confused with strength, but it is destructive and may actually be an outer expression of depression. If the people you love express concern about your anger, we can help you identify the roots of your anger and help you change your reactions to difficult situations or relationships.
Commitment: It’s difficult to commit when you don’t know what the future holds. It may feel easier to stick with what you know rather than trade it in for an uncertain future. Sometimes the fear of making the wrong decision is overwhelming and you fear losing family and friends who may not approve of your choice. You may retreat from a relationship that is actually going well because you feel that you are losing control or losing “a say” in how your life will progress.
Relationships: Sometimes men overestimate what they can contribute to relationships and try hard to please their partner and “make them happy.” They may feel that these efforts have gone unnoticed, and are confused about the criticisms they receive in spite of their efforts. These feelings may manifest in different ways, such as tuning out, not following through, working late, loss of sexual desire, or having an affair. Therapy can help men understand the language of women and how to contribute to the relationship without feeling that they are sacrificing themselves.
“Nice Guy” Syndrome: Some men are repeatedly told that they are “too nice” by the women to whom they are attracted, or they have a difficult time saying “no.” They find themselves doing things they don’t want to do and keeping their true feelings about it to themselves.
Mother issues: Mothers have an incredibly strong influence on their sons. When that relationship is damaging or dysfunctional, it can affect the trajectory of a man’s life.
Sexual Compulsions and Behaviors: Women want to experience emotional closeness to have sex and can misunderstand a man’s need to have sex in order to feel emotionally close. This difference can make already difficult conflicts worse during times when their partners do not want sex. The man may feel manipulated, rejected, or suspect his partner is using sex as a weapon. It is during these times that men may withdraw or escape by acting out.
New Fathers: The challenges faced by new fathers are rarely recognized! New fathers may feel left out or may feel like they have become unimportant to the mother or their children. Other new fathers may feel unequipped to deal with the needs of an infant. This may result in confusion, feeling depressed or helpless, sexual problems, or feeling their own needs have not been met.