Having a friend who is struggling with depression can be challenging – it may even be difficult to be around them at times – but your support can make a significant difference in their recovery. You’re never expected to have all the answers or “fix” their situation, but there are practical steps you can take to help.
Recognize the Signs of Depression
Before you can help, it’s important to understand what depression might look like. People most often associate a persistent sadness or hopelessness with depression, and they would be right. But there are other signs of depression such as:
- Loss of interest in activities they would normally enjoy
- Constant fatigue
- Changes in eating habits
- Problems with sleep
- Difficultly concentrating or making decisions
- Expresses feelings of guilt or not feeling worthwhile
If your friend is exhibiting these symptoms, especially if they mention self-harm or suicidal thoughts, it’s important to take it seriously.
Listen Without Judgment
Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can offer is your time and a listening ear. Let your friend express their feelings without fear of being judged or dismissed. Avoid saying things like, “Just cheer up,” or “You’ll get over it.” Instead, say, “I’m here for you,” or “That sounds really hard. I’m glad you’re talking to me about it.” You might also ask them what you can do to help right now.
Encourage Professional Help
While your support is crucial, a mental health professional is best equipped to treat depression. Encourage your friend to talk to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. They may need your help with researching therapists who take their insurance, helping them schedule an appointment if they feel overwhelmed, or even going with them to their first appointment if they are nervous.
Support Healthy Habits
Depression can make even basic self-care feel overwhelming. Gently encourage your friend to eat regular (hopefully nutritious) meals, get some physical activity – even if it’s just a walk around the block, and encourage a consistent sleep schedule. You can also suggest doing these activities together to make them feel less daunting to your friend.
Be Patient and Understanding
Recovery from depression takes time, and there will be ups and downs. Avoid taking it personally if your friend cancels plans, seems distant, or struggles to engage. Let them know you’ll continue to be there for them.
Stay Alert for Warning Signs of Suicide
If your friend expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, don’t ignore it. Take it seriously and act immediately. Remember, you don’t have to determine if they are at risk for completing a suicide – there are professionals who can do that. Don’t be afraid to ask them directly, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” You or your friend can call a crisis hotline, such as the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (in the U.S.). If the situation is urgent, don’t hesitate to contact emergency services.
Know Your Limits
As much as you care for your friend, it’s important to recognize your own boundaries. Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining, so make sure to set aside time for your own self-care. You may find it helpful to talk to someone you trust about your feelings, like another friend or counselor. Know when to step back and involve others, especially if your friend talks about self-harm or suicide.
Helping a friend with depression can be challenging, but your kindness, patience, and willingness to listen can provide the support they need. Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone—encourage them to seek help from a licensed therapist, and don’t forget to take care of yourself in the process. By being there for your friend, you’re showing them that they’re not alone—and that can make all the difference.
